Tank Top Tuesday: Gay it Forward

You know, I’m supposed to notice Stephanie March’s big yellow bandana. Because, you know, it’s yellow. But you know what I notice, well, besides the tank top? Her watch. That’s a big gay watch. Now, of course, I know Stephanie isn’t gay. She’s got Bobby freaking Flay cooking for her at home. But, she does play gay convincingly (as the brilliant plastics engineer slash lesbian on “30 Rock”). And, of course, gives good subtext with one Det. Olivia Benson. So, wait, where was I going with this? Oh right, those who play gay for our pleasure. Sometimes, they also wear pretty gay things for our pleasure, too. Like watches. And, of course, my personal favorite – tank tops.

Elizabeth MitchellElizabeth has earned the honorary hot plate for playing gay not once, not twice but three times. If she does a fourth, I say we have it bronzed.



Penelope CruzPenelope has only done it twice for us – but it was Charlize Theron and Scarlett Johansson, respectively. So, you know, good job.



Charlize TheronFine, so also played a lesbian serial killer. But, you know, nobody’s perfect.



Shay MitchellPoor dear, “A” made Emily a juicer. Though on the plus side, think of the muscle definition.



Patricia ClarksonSometimes I still expect her to talk with a German slur, like Greta from “High Art.”



Zoe SaldanaShe got to make out with Mila Kunis before it was Oscar-worthy to make out with Mila Kunis.



Piper PeraboAlso a twofer, but let’s be honest, we’ll love her forever just for kissing Lena.



Jenny ShimizuShe doesn’t have to play. She just is. My, is she ever.

Thanks for gaying it forward, ladies. And, yes, the tank tops.



EDIT: Looks like Piper and Penelope get their honorary hot plates as well for making the third time the charm. We anxiously await their fourth.

Super(gay)models

Because you asked and because I’m a giver: Look, it’s more Amanda Moore. Amanda Moore the out queer supermodel. Amanda Moore the androgynous hottie. Amanda Moore the possible former dater of girls who have been known to look very Shane today. But what else do we know about Amanda? Let’s let her tell us, shall we?

To recap: She grew up a military brat and went to high school in Florida. She was a basketball player who dreamed of going professional, but instead she got discovered at an open casting call. Also, she looks fucking hot with a boy’s haircut. I cannot stress that last bit enough.

As for this, well, you know – no comment.

But, just like with yesterday’s lesbothrobs and Lays potato chips, no one can have just one. Amanda follows a host of out and gorgeous supermodels down the catwalk. A look at a few of my favorite super gay models.

Jenny ShimizuAngelina has damn fine taste in women.

Eve SalvailEve and her tattoo were the best things about “Prêt-à-Porter.” Though too bad we didn’t get to see her do this with Lili Taylor.

Rachel Williams (right)I’m probably the only one who remembers her from the 80s. But this issue was one of the first fashion magazines I ever bought. And I did it all for Rachel’s eyes.

Kim StolzHands in pockets. Plaid shirt. Rolled up sleeves. Big Belt. Screw smiling with your eyes, this is gaying with your entire body.

Jessica Clark (right)Her fiancée is professional trainer Lacey Stone (left). A model and a trainer? I just went to a bendy, sweaty place in my head.

Nanna GrundfeldtWow, gay is spelled the same way in Finnish as it is English.

Gia CarangiThe one, the only, the original. Damn, really, damn.

Yeah, that crazy hot chain-link fence scene from the movie? Totally happened. [NSFW, naturally.]

Tank Top Tuesday

Sometimes simple is best. A quiet evening on the couch. A home-cooked meal. A good book. And, of course, a plain white tank top. Never let it be said that in the hustle and bustle of the modern world, we cannot stop long enough to enjoy the simpler things. In fact, I’d say they were more important now than ever. Granted, I’m not exactly sure how fake mustaches fit into this back-to-basics equation, but I’m happy to let Sarah Silverman try to explain. ‘Tis a gift to be simple, indeed.

Jenny ShimizuClearly, Angelina was powerless to resist.

Naomi WattsNormally I would advise against wearing dark undergarments with a white tank. Normally.

Leighton MeesterWho needs Chuck Bass, anyway?

Jenna FischerThis is why every office should have Casual Fridays.

Kristin Scott ThomasRemember when she said she was a lesbian once in college in “Four Weddings & a Funeral?” Hello, visual aid.

Kristen Stewart

If she wore stuff like this in “Twilight,” maybe I’d finally watch. Maybe.

Reese Witherspoon

Eat your heart out, Ryan Phillippe.

Amanda MooreProving that lesbian style is not an oxymoron

Tank Top Tuesday

I realize now I probably committed an unacceptable, unconscionable, unforgiveable crime against tank tops yesterday with my initial photo choice. Is there an apology big enough to atone for that sin? Can my sense of sexy be redeemed? Seriously, what the fuck was I thinking? I cannot answer these questions. I can, however, grovel at the feet of Teh Hot and ask humbly for its forgiveness. I think Halle Berry is a good start. As for the rest of my mea culpa, it goes a little something like this.

Angelina JoliePadma LakshmiPortia de RossiSandra BullockJenny ShimizuTricia Helfer, Lucy Lawless, Grace ParkLaura SánchezI haven’t seen “Los hombres de Paco” yet. Clearly, I am an idiot.

So, is all forgiven? Well, can I at least stop sleeping on the couch?

Tank Top Tuesday

A month? It has been a month since last we lasciviously luxuriated on the loveliness that is ladies in tank tops? What was I thinking? Where was my head? Why, oh the humanity, why? Sheesh, in my absent-mindedness I also totally missed the first anniversary of Tank Top Tuesday. Gosh, was it really only a year ago we first came together (ahem) to celebrate The Hot? Let me grovel my apologies in the only way I know how – by going back to the beginning. Ladies, the plain white tank top. The plain white tank top, ladies. And, just to class things up, it's black and whites of ladies in plain white tank tops. Plus, this way it seems less like objectification and more like art appreciation – really hot art.

Charlize TheronHalle BerryMaria BelloJenny ShimizuCarla GuginoFranka PotenteElizabeth HurleyAmy Adams

If I may be so presumptuous, I think that I'm forgiven.

Naked Lady Monday...on Wednesday

In honor of Seattle's Naked Gal, and without regard to the actual day of the week, how about another edition of Naked Lady Monday? Yes, yes, I know it's Wednesday. But they don't call it “hump” day for nothing. Know what I mean? Nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Say no more. But, just because we're talking about nakedness and humping doesn't mean we can't remain dignified doing so. And I've always thought a nicely placed black & white classes up a joint, don't you?

Mia KirshnerA woman in bed covered only by rumpled sheets is the very definition of good morning.

Alicia KeysAlicia Keys, Man Ray. Man Ray, Alicia Keys.

Aisha TylerMy, what great...posture you have.

Mary-Louise ParkerThe fetal position is now my new favorite position.

Dita Von Teese & Scarlett JohanssonHello, sudden surge of lesbians taking ballroom dance lessons.

Jenny Shimizu & FriendNever mind size, it's Shimizu that really matters.

Naomi WattsNow that's my kind of bodice ripper.

Sara RamirezFine, she isn't naked. Somehow I don't think you mind.

Isabella Rossellini & Friend

Obviously, they're playing charades and acting out the phrase “suit rack.” Ahem.